What qualities do good parents share? Do some people’s actions qualify them as good (or bad) parents depending on what they do?
Of course, there are no hard-and-fast rules for what makes a successful parent. What one person may consider to be good parenting may not meet that description for another. However, in general, these characteristics and routines are present in adults who are good parents.
Aspects of good parenting
Every parent, every child, and each family has different demands and situations. However, the majority of children will gain from parents who make an effort to show them concern, attention, and unwavering love—but also establish expectations for behaviour.
Orient and assist, don’t demand and push
In order to encourage their children to practise an instrument, excel in sports, attain top grades, and other goals, parents may nag, push, demand, bribe, or even threaten them with punishment. The truth is that providing kids massive support and giving them a little push when they need it will benefit them more than being a severe “Tiger Mom” (or dad).
Allow kids to be independent
Good parents understand the value of teaching their children to take care of their own needs. The best thing we as parents can do is get kids to a point where they can manage things on their own, whether it’s homework, housework, or making friends. It can be challenging to determine when to intervene and when to let children solve problems on their own.
In general, it’s okay to assist your child when you do that with the intention of eventually teaching them to do it independently.
For instance, it is not a wise idea for caregivers to, say, complete their child’s assignments for them or to supervise a play date and direct the children’s activities in detail. Those are clear cases of helicopter rather than assistance. But if you teach a youngster how to respectfully resolve a conflict with a buddy or sort out a homework difficulty, you’re providing them important resources for the future.
Keep in mind that kids are always watching
Have some juicy rumours you’d want to spill? Want to rage at a car who cuts you off or reprimand a rude neighbour? Although we can’t always be flawless, good parents are aware that our actions serve as examples for our children. We must make an effort to behave correctly and show respect for others if we want our kids to grow up to be kind, sympathetic, and well-mannered.
Never be rude, insensitive, or vindictive
Can a parent sometimes scream or lose their cool? Absolutely; after all, we are human. But demeaning, humiliating, or insulting a youngster is never a productive approach to teach them anything. Would you prefer to be handled in that manner?
Tell your children you love them
It’s simple to neglect and take the time to let our kids know how you feel about them when we’re all so busy. Simple acts like putting a note in their lunchbox or telling them something personal about yourself can deepen your bond and demonstrate your affection for your child every day.
Apologise when you’re wrong
You undoubtedly encourage your children to take responsibility for their actions by saying sorry and making amends. The importance of parents doing this themselves is equal to or even greater. All parents occasionally make mistakes, and good parents are aware of this. They learn from these mistakes and teach their children to take accountability for their actions.
Establish effective discipline
One of the best lessons you can give your children is discipline (not punishment), which also helps to raise children who will be happy as they get older. Why is it crucial to discipline kids? Children who lack discipline are far more prone to be entitled, resentful, and greedy as adults, and it should come as no surprise that they will struggle to make friends and find happiness.
Accept your child as they truly are
Focus on accepting your child as they are, not how you hope they will grow to be. Your child might choose to read quietly than strive to be the best on the soccer field or the stage.
Encouragement of children to try different things that might take them outside of their comfort bubble is a terrific idea. Sometimes the adage “You can’t be sure of whether you like it or not until you give it a chance” is true, especially for young people who are still coming to terms with their identities.
However, it’s crucial for parents to quickly assess whether they’re encouraging kids to try something for the appropriate reasons (and not because they want them to be someone they’re not).
Establish a connection with your child
Spend time, laugh, and positively engage with one another every day. Whether that’s playing a game, riding a bike, cooking, watching a film, or reading books together (or, if your kid is older, reading various books side-by-side), excellent parents intentionally spend time interacting with their children in both tiny and significant ways.
Talk and listen
Parents frequently spend more time talking to their children than actually spending time with them. Practice paying close attention and actively listening to your children (away from gadgets). You’ll be astonished by how much closer you feel to your child and how much more you probably understand about what they are experiencing and thinking.
The coolest part: You’ll also be teaching your child how to give you their full concentration whenever you want to talk to them about something.